The dangers of not wearing a funny t-shirt.

The 5 Dangers of Not Wearing a Funny T-Shirt

We all love to wear funny T-shirts, both as an expression of our sense of humor and for the attention they provide us. The jokes emblazoned on our chestgear are so much a part of us in fact, that we oftentimes forget what life is like without them.

It’s a hard life, going around without a funny T-shirt. Be wary if you choose to walk that path, for the following horrible things could happen:

People Might Want to Discuss Serious Topics You Know Nothing About

If you use funny T-shirts as your main source of clothing (as well you should), you’re probably not the most serious person on the planet. When the conversation turns to global warming and the stock market, that’s your cue to run far, far away.

The dangers of not wearing a funny t-shirt.

“And so I feel that a Presidential run is most influenced by–“

Luckily, if you’re wearing a funny shirt, most people assume you’re not here to debate birth control. Unfortunately, if you’re wearing a boring, unfunny, solid-color shirt, people have no way of knowing this. You risk being cornered at a party and having to listen to somebody go on and on and on about whether or not America should adopt the Gold Standard. Worse yet, they might ask YOU what you think, when the only time you ever think about gold is while playing Super Mario and seeking gold coins for an extra life.

They Might Shake Your Hand Really Hard


A good, firm handshake is a common gesture, though among the funny T-shirt community, they tend to be less “firm shake” and more “soft high-five.” Maybe a fist bump, though not so hard knuckles crack.

But if you’re not wearing a funny shirt, handshakers might assume you’re not only one of them, but that you can more than likely handle an extra-hard handshake, because you’re tough and can take it. News flash: unless you’re The Rock and just happen to be wearing a funny shirt, you probably can’t take it. You’re more about punchlines than punches, and the muscle you operate the most is your brain.

They Might Ask if You “Work Here”

Many store employees, if they’re not explicitly wearing a company uniform, dress in solid-color polo shirts and slacks. That’s fine for them, but if you choose to walk into their store dressed like that, get ready for customers to assume that you’re on the clock and there to help. Problem is, unless you’re a regular patron of the store and actually DO know where everything is, you’re no help at all. All you can do is act confused, sheepishly tell the customer you don’t work here, and hope they believe you.

The dangers of not wearing a funny t-shirt.

Because if they don’t, they might call management to complain about you, and that would just get awkward.

Your time has been wasted, as has the customer’s. And all because you didn’t wear a funny t-shirt into the store. Shame, shame.

Attractive People Might Ignore You Due to Lack of Humor

Funny Shirts

Despite what meatheads in the gym might tell you, a sense of humor is in fact very sexy, and many people will fall for a comedian faster than they would an action hero (unless it’s a rich action hero — money changes everything, after all.) If you wear a funny t-shirt that catches the attention of somebody attractive, then you’ve got a built-in icebreaker that will hopefully propel you into their arms (and perhaps even R-rated territory.)

But if you just wear something generic and boring? Forget it. Nobody’s going to care about you if you walk around looking like the Cleveland Browns logo, and if they do, they’re probably not interesting enough to even bother taking home.


You Might Get Carded Less

If you hate getting carded, it’s probably because you’re underage and want to get away with something illegal. As you age, people asking to see your ID becomes a badge of honor. You don’t look old yet, yayyy!

This becomes a lot harder to pull off if you’re not wearing a funny T-shirt. People will just assume, because you’re dressed sensibly and maturely, that you’re a lot older than you really are, and thus not even bother to card you. And since more and more places card anyone who looks under 40 these days, not getting carded means you look older than that. If you wish to avoid that awful fate, then wear a funny T-shirt and pass for a 20-something once again. offers tons of great funny t-shirts to guarantee the horror stories above never happen to you!