The 4 Funniest Shirts to Wear to a Wedding
Typically, weddings are serious, formal affairs, where people only their hair down when doing the Chicken Dance. This is evident in what people wear, which is always either a depressing black tux or a gorgeous flowing gown that even Cinderella would envy.
We have a better idea — funny t-shirts! The next time you find yourself whittling away your day at somebody’s nuptials, show up dressed in a funny shirt and become the life of the party. One warning: we don’t recommend wearing these shirts if it’s your wedding. That is, unless you want to sign divorce papers the very next day.
Hey, speaking of divorce, here’s a fun reminder to the blushing bride that there’s a really good chance her magical day will ultimately mean nothing. After all, damn near 60% of marriages end in tears while a judge coldly decides who gets to keep the couch you two tearfully watched The Notebook on that one night.
But take care to remind her that while 58% of marriages end in divorce, that means 42% of them don’t. Those are pretty good odds! Just don’t bother to tell her that those 42% of marriages actually end in death. You’ve probably already made her moody enough as it is.
Formal marriage is a fairly new concept. Used to be, if you wanted a lover, you just knocked them out, dragged them back to your cave, and kept them there. These shirts advocate the return of that tradition, because while it may not be good for whoever’s brain just got clubbed in, at least there’s no awkwardly long and boring ceremony where the highlight of entertainment is when a bridge spends thousands of dollars on her dream wedding dress and then willingly gets cake all over it.
And unlike our cavemen past, either gender can do the hunting and the clubbing and the dragging this time. Would the man of your dreams rather watch the playoffs than declare his love in both sickness and in health? One good knock to the head will get him to the church on time, whether he knows it or not.
Game of Thrones is a very popular show indeed, but we’re guessing most brides and grooms would rather not be reminded of it during their ceremony, since it’s not exactly the most romantic of fables.
This goes quintuple if you wear this shirt, which references the infamous “Red Wedding” episode where just about everybody died horribly in a bloody massacre. After all, what glowing girl wouldn’t want the most special day of her life to become intertwined with violence and death and gore and more violence and even more death?
Oh, and if any of the guests complain about spoilers, remind them that it’s been a year since that episode and 14 years since the book. If they still don’t know about it, then it has officially ceased to be anybody’s problem but their own.
Finally, we at IAmFunnyShirts.com present a wonderful idea from our very own shelves. This funny shirt works whether the lovely couple has a child yet or not. If they do, and especially if the bridge is presently pregnant, then this shirt will serve as a gentle rib to the groom, reminding him of the one thing he forgot to do that night that might well be the reason he’s standing in front of a priest today.
If the couple is childless, this shirt can also serve as a great warning for the future. While children are wonderful and fun and life-fulfilling and such, if you want to save your money and ensure that no small human walks into your bedroom at the most NSFW moment possible, always use protection.
IAmFunnyShirts.com has countless shirts for sale, so you’ll never have to embarrass yourself by wearing the same one to two different weddings. Click here to check them all out!Google+